20 Things My Kids Need To Learn

Twenty Things My Kids Need To Learn

1. How to take all the crap out of their pockets before I throw it into the washing machine.

2. How to put the toilet seat lid down after peeing (boys)

3. How to flush

4. How to push their chairs in when they leave the table

5. That cleaning your room does NOT mean hiding everything behind your dresser and under the bed.

6. How to rinse the toothpaste out of the sink after brushing their teeth.

7.How to manage disagreements themselves without yelling, "MOM!!!!"

8. How to put their backpacks and coats up when they come home and not throw them on the floor.

9. What voice volume control means

10. How to entertain themselves for at least an hour

11. That No does not mean bug Mom and pester Mom until she says yes.

12.That no matter how many times you ask what time a special movie comes on it will not make it come on sooner.

13. To talk one at a time

14.When the baby is screaming at the top of her lungs is NOT the time to ask if you can do something

15. That bedtime and lights out does NOT mean take a black permanent marker to bed with you and tattoo your sisters wrist, ears, back and bootay.

16. That just because mom has checks and a credit card doesn’t mean that money grows on trees or in ATM machines

17. That books are for reading, barbie cars and monster truck toys are for plsying with and not for putting under your feet and skating on.

18. That washing dishes does not mean leaving a thin scum of milk at the bottom of a cup.

19. That while it is true that mud washes away that does not mean go outside and slide around in it until your body is covered in it, your shoes are soaked in it, and you can no longer tell what color your coat is.

20. Lip gloss is for your lips not to eat or draw on the walls with.