I had every intention of writing some fabulous wit filled blog commemorating the many years I’ve been blessed with on this earth but that will have to wait for another day. My heart is a little heavy this morning with new information regarding my youngest son.
After years of not understanding his behaviors and having no idea what could be causing his many difficulties I finally have answers. For that I am grateful. I thought I had prepared myself for any diagnosis and prognosis I might get. After all, knowing would be better than fumbling around in the dark trying to deal with an invisible monster, right? So why do I feel so heart sick?
Organic encephalopathy. Fetal Alcohol syndrome. Irreparable brain damage. These are the names of the monster that are wreaking havoc on his life, on all our lives. There are no fixes, no cures, no magic medicines or answers for this.
I’ve been struggling to remain positive. Look on the Brightside of things. Accept and create a plan of action. But my positivity is more words than feelings today.
I turned 36 today and I find myself hoping and praying that when he reaches this birthday he will be able to look back and see a life of adventures, milestones, and amazing moments. I hope his will be a story of perseverance and overcoming obstacles, and that he will see all the people who love him so very much and are there for him no matter what.
God STILL has a plan for him regardless of any diagnosis! He was placed in my life, meant to be with me, and I am providing him the love, care, and medical attention he might not have gotten otherwise! Something amazing and far beyond my understanding CAN come of this! I do believe those things, and maybe if I repeat them enough I won’t feel quite so sad.
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