One of Momma's Worst Nightmares

You know those moments you have nightmares about? The event with one of your children that just the thought of brings bile jumping to your mouth and culminates with a lump the size of Texas lodging in your throat?

Well we had one of those moments Friday, much to my horror.

I hesitated to post this initially for fear of being thought of as "that mom", or fear someone would think I was just awful, but this is a blog, about moms, women raising children, the good stuff and the scary stuff. And maybe just maybe it will let some other mom know that we aren't perfect.

The day started out like any other day. Sunshine, playing, being silly etc. Then we headed off to The Man’s softball game at the park. My children quickly found 4 or 5 other children to befriend and they all started playing in the dust/ sand that accumulates in front of the bleachers. I’m not really sure what they were doing exactly, some sort of contest to see which “team” could get the most sand piled up. They were filling water bottles, bags and empty popcorn boxes with the sand.

My 2 yr old aka the gremlin and now possibly lightning rod - found another little toddler and they were sitting just to the right of where I was sitting on the bleachers. They had their own little pile going and were happily sifting the sand through their hands and letting it fall onto their legs etc. All was well, except the fact that I knew by the time it was time to go they would all have to brushed off and then take major baths at home.

I watched the game and the kids pretty much simultaneously as most moms’ do. Then The Man came off the field for a minute to run to the brightly painted port o pot. My two year old waved at him with a fist full of sand as he walked past. And I watched her build a castle of some sort with her new friend. When he came out he came over to me, told me he was getting a blister on his ankle, and gave me a peck on the cheek. I turned to look at the group of kids gathered in the dirt and couldn’t see my baby girl. I asked both her sisters and brother where she was. They look confused and assured me she had just been there. This I knew, as I had just been watching her as well.

A quick once over of the group of kids and I realized she was not in the group anywhere. The Man and I stood up and started looking around the bleachers, behind the bleachers, over to the other teams bleachers. Nothing. I grabbed all the kids and told them to start looking.

There we are two adults and a group of 7 kids calling her name. I was becoming panicked as I couldn’t see any sign of her. There was no response to each time we called her name. My heart thwacked so hard against my chest I thought it might just rip out of the skin and thump to the ground.

Had someone grabbed my child? She doesn’t know the meaning of a stranger. Someone would just have to offer to take her swinging at the park or give her some chocolate and she would happily go with even the gnarliest looking person.

We got further away from the field toward the road and as I looked across my heart just completely stopped. Directly across the road was a pond. A POND! I scanned the walkway around it and still saw nothing.

The Man must have had the same thoughts because he started running. A woman fishing at the end closest to us, stopped him and I couldn’t hear all she said but I heard “Looking for a baby?” and “Just fell in.”

What?! Oh God please let her be safe!

The Man took off sprinting to the other end of the pond and I could see a woman standing next to myy baby girl. She was covered in water and pond scum and looked like she was trying to fig out what had just happened.

I made it to where they were standing and the woman just smiled at me and told me she was ok.
“I saw her cross over the road so I followed her. She looked like she was headed to the park but then went toward the edge of the pond. I got to her just as she dove in. When I pulled her out I thought she would be crying but she just looked at me and said she wanted to slide.”

I really felt like I was in a tunnel of some sort. The Man was holding her, and checking her over. Everything sounded distant to me, and really far away. It was one of the oddest feelings I’ve experienced. Fear and horror washed away by finding her safe, but even more horror at what might have happened.

How she managed to get from the diamond to the walkway, let alone the pond in what was literally less than two minutes still confounds me. I’ve thought over and over of what could have happened, an believe me I have beat myself up one side and down the other. In the end I know it wasn’t any horrible thing I did or didn’t do. That child is smart, and curious, and FAST.
I am just so thankful that she was safe and that not only was God watching out for her, but so was this middle aged woman with her sunglasses, walking shoes, Hollister t-shirt and baseball cap. WHOM- I’m still not altogether convinced that wasn’t an angel.

My baby girl is alright. I got her out of her soaked clothes, hugged her, kissed her, checked her over, SEVERAL times. She definitely had no idea of the possible consequences of her little adventure. She has told us and anyone else who will listen that she “fell in the water.” But that’s the extent of her descriptions.

She might not remember the day she wandered off like she had no fear in the world, but as for me, I will never forget it. You often hear parents say, “I just blinked and they were gone. Vanished. I don’t know how it happened.” I can totally relate to the confusion of how it could have happened so quickly, in the blink of an eye. Definitely not something I ever wanted to be able to relate to.

But because of it, I couldn’t be more thankful that she and all my kids are safe and secure.