And They're Off!

Alarm. Snooze. Alarm. Snooze. Alarm. Drag myself out of bed, cling to the stair rail to go downstairs and wake up the Diva for her first day of 4th grade. Tap her. Rub her back. Call her name. Once, twice, three times. Listen to her yawn and stretch and make her puppy like whimper noises before she finally opens her eyes, looks out the window and informs me that it’s still dark outside. Uh yeah, I know. Just wait til this winter!

6:20 am is much too early to be waking children up for school. I didn’t even get my coffee. The Diva got dressed in one of her new uniforms, and of course she looked adorable. I braided her hair keeping one eye on the clock so I would know when to wake up the other two sleeping beauties. She was pretty excited to be starting at a new school. This one is my pistol, and I’m really hoping that the change in schools will help her behave a little better. She’s that kid. You know the one. “There’s nothing you can tell me I don’t already know,” kind. And she has difficulties making friends because she has to be the boss of everything. A result, I think of being the second youngest and never having say at home.

I reminded her that today was a new day, a new school, new kids, and a chance to start a great year. She was all grins. My fingers are crossed for her.

By now I was a little more awake, and the sun was trying to peek through the clouds. Unsuccessfully, but trying at least. I woke up the other two who are starting their first day of “intermediate” school. (5th and 6th grade) Our school system is trying something different this year and rather than having 2 junior highs for 6- 8th grade they took the jr. highs and divided them. 5th and 6th in one building. 7th and 8th in another. Big school, lots of kids. It makes me a little sad to think of them growing up on me.

They woke up a lot easier than I thought they would, and both were dressed and ready to go within 10 minutes. Excited much? Haha. I thought we had everything ready to go, but of course there are always the last minute things. Bashful couldn’t find a belt she wanted to wear and then decided to change her shoes. Then of course her hair wasn’t doing what she wanted. Oh drama!

Big Little Man didn’t care. His shirt was half tucked, half un-tucked. His hair had a rooster thing going on in the back, and he had a little dried drool in the corner of his mouth. Of course I totally Momma Beared him and got him all straightened out, even licking my thumb and wiping the drool away. Gross right? Who does that?! Apparently I do.

The Divas bus sped right by the house and she came in all bewildered so I assured her I’d get her to school. Then Big Little Man went out to wait for his bus and almost climbed onto his sisters’ bus. Bashful must have zipped and un-zipped her backpack five times to check that everything was in order.
It was soooo cute watching them get ready and get on their busses, but a little bittersweet as well.

Of course Bean wanted to go to. Each time the busses pulled up she would proclaim, “I go to school too!” she leaned over the back of the sofa and watched out the window. Every time a bus pulled up she’d squeal, “Bus! Bus!”

She was pretty disappointed that she wasn’t going to school with them. But a banana, her Peter Rabbit, and some Oswald seemed to make her content.

I’m finally sipping some much needed coffee, and enjoying the few moments of quiet. I’m excited to hear how the kids first day went, but I’m also thinking that despite the early departures I’m probably going to enjoy the few hours a day when the house is a little less crazy.

Mmmm. It’s Momma time!At least for a little bit until I have to leave for my ultrasound appointment. I'm def going to enjoy it for a bit!

School Daze

Where did the summer go? Oh yeah, that's right, it's still here, we just have a weird school system who think it's brilliant to start the kids in school in the middle of August when it still doesn't get dark til 9:30 and the temperatures still soar in the 90's. None the less, today is officially the last day of the kids summer break. I kind of have mixed emotions about this.I feel like we had so much more to do to enjoy the summer, but being sickly the past month with the pregnancy and the hot, muggy, weather made it difficult to do some of the things we'd planned. I have to admit that I'm also looking forward to the kids not acting insane because they are bored.

Seriously?! Did you know that kids start picking fights with each other and loooking for reasons to be in crappy moods when they get bored? It's true. Mine seem to have come to a group concensus that since it was too hot to be outside for very long, and they are limited on how much they are allowed to play video games, they would make everyone in the house miserable by picking, fighting, whining, and being all around difficult.

That I will definately NOT miss. A little more quiet and less arguing during the day will be a nice change. However, I'm not looking forward to the 6:45 AM wake up schedule. Or the homework time when they whine and fuss because they don't want to do it.

School uniforms are purchased. Shoes are bought. School supplies.... well as that is there Dad's apparent contribution we are still waiting on those (love not having them yet, the day before school starts- but that's a gripe for another day)

I think we are pretty much ready.

And now I have to add a big THANK GOODNESS because as I wrote this I heard the kids wrestling and arguing, and then some crying. They come upstairs and one has a big red mark by her eye, the boy has a red mark on his neck and the other is telling me all about the wrestling scene that waas going on downstairs.

Uh Yeah,.... definately ready for school to begin!!!

1+1=8

So…..the big surprise of the summer for our family?

We’re having a baby! Yes, you read that right. Little baby Mallison should be arriving March 17th if the doctors estimated due date is correct.

Surprised? You betcha! While The Man and I had discussed having a baby “SOMEDAY” we definitely hadn’t planned on finding out just a month after the wedding that we would be adding to the family so soon. However, I know that it’s a blessing regardless of timing. And of course, I can’t help thinking that God is telling me once again that His timing is not always My timing.

Ok, God. Gotcha.

I have to say I was surprised by the revelation. Surprised enough that I took 4 pregnancy tests. Ha, I know, I know it’s a little ridiculous, but it’s true. After being teased by friends that I was, and realizing that I was in deed late for that wonderful gift I get every month I decided to take a test.

I thought maybe I’d gotten a bladder infection or that the changes from the wedding and all the buzz after had just put my body into “forgetful” mode. Uh not so much! I knew I’d had my monthly visitor just three days before the wedding, because I was horrified that it would still be around when I put on my gorgeous wedding dress.
“Everything is just running a little behind.” At least that’s what I told myself. Then I had a rummage sale with my friend, and we were talking. I mentioned that I was nearly 9 days late. She convinced me that I should test. I say convinced because I have a history of panicking when I’m just a couple days late- running out and buying a test- only to get a negative and then a day later getting my visitor. So this time I decided not to freak out and just wait.

Ha. Fooled me I suppose. So I woke up the morning after we finished our rummage and took a test. It IMMEDIATELY showed me a PLUS sign. It was only 7am and I was groggy. I told myself it was wrong and went back to bed. Later, I went to the store and bought another pack. Next morning I took another and to my surprise the result was even brighter and appeared so fast that the urine (I know gross) didn’t even make it all the way across the stick before the PLUS sign appeared. Two more tests throughout the day gave me the same result. WHOA!

I wasn’t sure how to tell The Man, or if I even should until I had a doctors confirmation, but I decided that with this being his first pregnancy he deserved to know asap. Besides I didn’t want to have to wait until the doctors appointment alone. Right?

So I took a big black marker and wrote on my tummy “Baby on Board” and I wrapped the tests in a small box to look like a present. Boy was he surprised when he saw the writing on my tummy. He cocked his head to one side, read slowly then looked at me, raised his eyebrows and asked, “Are you serious?”

I handed him the gift and he unwrapped it to look at the tests.

A week later at the doctor office they did indeed confirm the news. Baby Mallison was currently baking away in my belly.

So,…. The 7 of us will go to 8 in 2011. Despite the surprise of it, we are all excited to see how this little one will enrich our family. Now if I could just get over the morning sickness, fatigue, and peeing constantly……

Oh the Joys of the Tempestuous Two's

I’m not really sure what happened over the past few months to my precious little toddler. It’s like she turned into this spicy little diva who likes to throw fits when she doesn’t get her way and who has the sassiest attitude I’ve ever seen on a two year old.

Not that she isn’t still sweet and endearing and full of humor as she has always been, there’s just been a scoop of sass added. Sometimes the moments are cute and I have to fight not to laugh at her, as I know that she’ll just continue to do it. Other times I’d like to find the nearest pillow and throw it over my head in the biggest act of ignoring possible.

Case in point- She wanted a fruit snack the other day. Her oldest sister- my 18 yr old was the object of her “personality” on this occasion.

2 yr old- I wanna fwoot snack

Oldest- Ok just a minute.

2 yr old- I wanna fwoot snack. I wanna fwoot snack. (this time adding the pouty lip)

Oldest- Give me a second.

2 yr old- (Stomping a foot) I wanna fwoot snack!

Oldest- I do Not have to jump up the second you snap your fingers!

2 yr old- Snap, snap, snap! (while she snapped her fingers.

Second case in point- she was doing something she wasn’t supposed to be so The man told her to stop or she was going to get a spanking. She continued and he told her. “I’m not kidding. If you don’t stop I’m going to spank you, I promise.” What does she do? Hold out her finger for him to pinky promise her. Oh good grief!
And while those are the moments that are smile worthy, there have been a few that prove to me that she is getting older, getting her own personality, and maybe a little attitude.

One afternoon she was upset. The man was going to take the kids swimming so they had all changed into their suits, but we were waiting on a call to know when it was ok for them to go over. She couldn’t understand the waiting and was growing very, very impatient. I was in the living room with the man and a few of the kids watching t.v. When she realized they weren’t leaving right away to go swimming she got peeved. She repeated over and over that she wanted to go swimming. No amount of explaining would ease her or calm her frustration. She started crying, flailing a bit, and even slammed onto her bottom. When that wasn’t the magic solution to her devastating problem she started kicking the couch. Then she stormed off down the hall crying and yelling that she wanted to go swimming.

Once in her room she continued and even closed her bedroom door. Initially I tried to let her throw her fit. After all she wasn’t doing it in front of me, and had taken it to her room. But she got louder and it sounded like she was kicking or hitting the wall.

When I entered her room she was lying on the floor and kicking her closet doors. I scanned her room and was surprised to see that she’d thrown a pile of folded clothes all over the floor. I sternly told her to stop and pick up her clothes. Now let me explain being stern with her is difficult because she has those blue eyes and that sweet mouth and she knows how to bat her eyelashes. But I did it, and apparently it worked because she started picking up the clothes. I convinced her to come out to the living room and sit whole we waited, and explained to her again that we were waiting on the call and then she could swim. That worked for about 5 minutes and then she started whining and fussing again. Within 5 minutes she’d fallen asleep on the couch, and three minutes after that we got the call to go swimming.

I’m pretty sure that the episodes like that happen when she is tired. Which is a lot lately because she has transitioned from a crib to toddler bed, and we’ve been struggling to get her to go to sleep and even stay in bed. But that’s the subject for an entirely different blog. Regardless of the reasons, it’s the moments like this that make me want to stick my head in some sand.

So how about any of you other mom’s of toddlers? Are you also discovering that they are quite tempestuous as well?

Yakkity Yak- Don't Puke Back

I made my least loved trip to the grocery the other day and The Man was sending me texts of what he thought I might forget to buy or whatever random thing he could think of that we needed. My alert would sound and of course I’d check to see what it was.

Diapers and wipes. Yep those are on my list cool

Trash Bags. Agh almost forgot those!

Cheese. Of course we MUST have cheese for all HIS many dietary needs. If it’s not covered in peanut butter, it’s covered in cheese.

Fever. Wha? I need to get a fever? Did he mean Lever? Do we even use that stuff? Is he saying I need to wash my 2000 parts?

Nope. FEVER. Like burnin' up hot, you give me fever, etc.

Oops not a part of the shopping list. Oldest Little Man was now showing symptoms that every other kidlet in the house had already been developing. Low fever, achy, sore throat, weak. Yay for Mommy! No so much =/

I do not enjoy sick kidlets. It makes me sad. Not to mention I usually end up cleaning someone’s bedding at least twice because they don’t make it to the bathroom to yack.

Case in point- I took little diva to the doctor Wednesday as she was the first who really seemed to be ill at that time, and the one with the most symptoms and a really raw looking throat. After being put on antibiotics for strep (even though cultrue came back negative- but she had puss on her throat and hospital lab might show a positive then she'd be sick on holiday) and meds for allergies we get home to discover that Blondie, my other daughter, has thrown up not only in her bed, but was leaning over and managed to get her brothers bed as well. *gag* *gulp* *swallow*. That is like the third time she has done that to me in the past 6 months. I really, really wish if she’s not going to make it to the bathroom that she’d just sit in her bed and soil just ONE set of bedding and spare the other and the carpet! Eww and ewww. I'm normally the one who ends up cleaning it up. I think though that my stomach was created to entertain anyone with a strong one, because I really really hate throw up or bodily fluids, and can't seem to hold back heaves. I was very thankful that The Man cleaned the mess up before I got a chance to see it, because I'm positive there would have been another mess to clean, MINE.

Luckily when I called the doctor to let him know that they were all pretty much acting the same as the Diva he saw earlier, he didn’t make me haul all three of them in. But we did get meds and hoping that by this afternoon they will be well on their way to feeling better for this weekend of celebrations.

Of course I’ll be drowning in a mountain of bed spreads and pillow cases for the day, But better today then tomorrow or Sunday! And as long as we don’t have to add to that mess Ima be a happy Momma!

On a side note while grocery shopping with Blondie and running errands, going to the bank, paying bills etc, I think she finally realized how much money goes into raising a family. She was pretty astounded at the grocery bill at both stores, and it wasn’t even one of larger normal ones. Maybe at least one of the kids will appreciate that money doesn’t grow on trees, that electricity, water, and their cable isn’t free, and that it cost some major Benjaman’s to make sure that they have “Good Eats.”

It Has BEGUN! (new system for kids!)

So after dealing with whining/ crying/ pouting/ eye rolling etc I have decided that my kids need to know just exactly what is expected of them daily.

Kids always want to play, watch t.v., play video games etc, but when it comes to chores,....even just the simple ones they seem to have a freakin' cow if I even mention them. Oy vey! They want to play play play but don't want to help around the house with the messes they create.
Umm Momma says enough of that my little gremlins. Summer time doesn't mean I get to stop doing the things that need to get done so you don't either!! And hey! If we get them done we can enjoy the day, do what we want and have muchos fun!!!

Thanks to Rachael I got the foundation for an idea regarding how to get them to do the chores expected without all the "issues" included. I am REALLY hoping it works!!

What are we doing? A poker chip/ banking system.

I give them a list of the chores expected of them such as : making bed, cleaning room, putting dirty clothes in laundry room and not on bedroom floor, putting away their clean laundry, unloading dishes from dishwasher, folding their laundry, straighening up their messes etc. Then they have to complete them to earn chips/ tokens. (we are using poker chips because we have an extra case)

Each of them get a mason jar that their earned chips go into. Then they can use the chips to pay for priveleges such as psp/ds/gameboy time. Xbox / gamecube/ ps3 time. TV time and control of the remote. etc. They can use their chips (worth a set amount) for the time to pay for priveleges, or they can cash them in to spend. However, they can NOT be changed back.

Also, their chores have to be done by a set time. If they are not than any of the kids can do the set chores for extra chips.

They can also fail to earn chips if they don't do the chore right, complain about their chores or argue and whine. Or if they lie about doing chores.

I have high hopes for this system. I've printed out expected chores for each child, what it cost to earn specific things, and the rules. All of these will go on the fridge so that they can readily see them.

I will most def let you know how it goes!! FINGERS CROSSED!!!

I can't see me lovin' nobody but him....

There are moments when I wonder just how exactly it is that The Man always know when I am about to wig out over something. He always seems to meet a need just as I feel like I'm about to stumble over the edge of some seemingly ginormous black hole. Thank goodness he cares enough to take my hand just before my foot leaves the ground and meets the air!

Of course, when you yell at your kids to make their beds on and really meant to say get your shoes on, I guess that's a huge clue that something is a little off that day. So maybe he's not ingenious or doesn't obtain some master mind reading power that tells him when it's one of those days, but he's still great at zeroing in on it and helping me to relax, re-think, or re-boot.

I am really blessed to have a man who so willingly accepts even the crazy days, loves my kids, and me even more for how much I love them, thinks (most days anyways) that even some of my neurotic tendencies are cute, and plans surprise moments for me to help take the edge off the not so great moments.

I really never thought I'd find someone who could put up with me like he does. Guess I'm a pretty lucky woman! Of course he's pretty darned lucky too. I mean he got a sensitive, sweet, hottie who likes cleaning, cooking, and cuddling, and doesn't mind that he can be a bit of a computer/ video game nerd.

Winners go US!

=)

They Call Her The Streak! (Butts, poop, and boogers-oh my!)

Poop. Butts. Yummy boogers, and all things aromatic and slimy. Yes, these are the topics of my blog today? Why you ask? I’m the mother of a toddler. Nuff said?

I got a tingle in the back of my throat just mentioning aromatic slime. Perhaps that’s because I have an aversion to all that includes bodily secretions. Whatever the raison d'être I feel a warning is needed at this point. So don’t say I didn’t. Mmmk?

WARNING- While this post might possibly make you grin, quietly giggle, or even belly laugh, it could also induce moments where your body feels the need to shudder, convulse, or where you get that moment of pure fear as your stomach lurches. If you begin to acquire a weird taste in your mouth, or at any point you might feel food inching its way up the back of your throat – step away from your computer and take a moment as to not ruin your keyboard or pc screen. That’s all.

Let’s begin.

My toddler has begun the wonderful explorations of all that is gross. Some of which I’m sure is encouraged by her older siblings, and of course her Daddy. Firstly, there is the whole discovery of snot, boogers, spit, etc. Basically anything that might come from her facial orifices. She has always enjoyed picking her nose. I have photos of her doing it since before she could walk. But now it seems she enjoys it tenfold, and has made the revelation that it gross’s Momma and others completely out. Being the amazingly intelligent and devious little thing that she is this entertains her and gives her great cause for joy.

Case in point. The Man and I were driving and happened to have my 18 yr old daughter in the backseat with us. Apparently the beautiful gremlin was still able to terrorize from her car seat simply by picking out a rather large, crunchy booger and then putting it in her mouth.

18yo- “Ewww, spit it out! Spit it out!”

Toddler- Giggles and head shaking.

Me- “What’s wrong?”

18yo- “She put a booger in her mouth and it’s stuck on her tooth!”

The Man- “Ohhh, Does it taste like green beans?”

18 yo- “Stop. Gross.” Gag.

Toddler- “Mmmm. Das Goood.”

The Man- “what do your boogers taste like?”

Toddler- “Taste like Booguz!” Then more giggling and pretend spitting in the 18 yo’s direction.

2nd Case in point- The toddler sitting in the corner with her runny nose. When I told her to hold still and I’d get her a tissue she proceeded to use her hand and fingers to scoop every last bit of snot from her face and then put it INTO her mouth. Then smile like she’d just eaten the most delicious piece of cheesecake. Tummy lurch, gag, gulp time for Momma.

Ok enough of the snot; I can’t continue on with that one, I’ve got cold chills. Bleck!! Let’s move onto a much easier one.

Butts. Have you ever noticed how kids can add the word Butts to almost anything and think that it’s the most hilarious thing? Chicken butt. Lazy butt. Silly butt. Ugly butt. Crazy butt. Butt sniffer. Butt licker….. Wha? No? Ok maybe it’s just my weird family that finds it amusing. Due to this bootay obsession, my toddler has begun to enjoy anything that has to do with butt humor.

She announces to everyone when she has passed gas by stating quite loudly. “I fawted!” And beware if you let out even the smallest of one around her because she WILL let anyone and everyone around you know in a not so quiet voice, “Mommy fawted! You fawted mommy. “ That’s the most fun in the grocery store, or the bank!

And the weirdest of her toddler ideas about butt’s? I’ll preface this one by saying I have no idea where she got this one from, we are not all quite THIS odd.

The Man and I were outside chatting on the deck. He happened to be leaning on a railing when the bootay gremlin came out. Her pull-up must have been riding up because she pulled it down. We both told her that we could see her crack, and she needed to pull them back up. After a few giggles and a flash of the top half of her very white moon she complied. Then for some odd reason she grabbed at the waist of The Man’s shorts and tried to pull them down. She managed just a peak of his equally white crack before he got a good yank and got them up.

The Man- “What are you doing?”

Toddler- “Where’s u milk?”

The Man- “Huh?”

Toddler- “Where’s u milk fwom youw butt?”

Me- “Stop that. Bottoms don’t have milk.”

The Man- “Umm ok that was just weird baby. Even for you. “

Toddler giggles then turns, squats and pretends to make a fart noise and then says,…. “Here go! Hagabooger. (aka hamburger)

Why she thinks milk or hamburgers come from your bootay? No idea. But the look on The Man’s face when she actually did something even he (the king of odd and silly tom foolery) thought was weird? Hil-freakin-larious!

Ok if you made it this far good for you! And I can hear you all (well the one person probably reading this) chanting. BRING ON THE POOP! BRING ON THE POOP! Your wish is my command.

Firstly, potty training has brought on many weird behaviors in my little one. The most annoying but least offensive of which is stripping down- sometimes just to her pull-up but often completely nekkid. Yep, she’s turned into a streaker- and that has many meanings currently in this house. (I’ll explain that one shortly.) Many a friend and family member have been the lucky recipients of walking in the house and seeing a bare bootied baby running through the house. Yep, that is my little princess y’all!

She has also become fascinated with her poop! Yay for me, and everyone else in the house, right? Awww, come on don’t be jealous. You know you want a poop obsessed toddler! For the low cost of babysitting you can have one for a couple hours. Just give me a shout and you too can experience the delights!

I’ll start easy and get to the brown stuff, I mean err good stuff!

Firstly- “The Birth of the Poop Turtle.” Upon arriving home from the honeymoon our little princess was thrilled to let us know she had pooped in the potty. (A task we had been struggling with her to achieve.) We had been forewarned by my sister that she was receiving a chocolate chip for her diligent work. We were prepared with a bag of Hershey semi sweet morsels. What we were not prepared for?

The big moment came and she sat on her potty chair. Much effort was made to earn that tiny morsel, let me tell you. Red face, scrunched nose, a few grunts, then success. She looks up at me with a drop of sweat on her brow and says, “AWETHOME! I made a poop turtle!”

A poop wha? I thought maybe she’d heard someone say turd. (a word which I really really hate.) But upon discussing it with my sister was told the real story. Apparently when she was potty training her children she told them to make a “poop fish”. So she tried the potty training mastery on my little one. “Make a poop fish!” How did my little, independent princess respond? “No. I make a poop turtle!” And thus the poop turtle was born. But hey for those who have potty trained. Whatever works! Bring on the poop turtles! As long as they're swimming in the toilet and not lying on my floor or in her hands. Curious? read on!

Secondly- Now that she is potty training the princess thinks that if she’s had an accident she should remove her pull-up and leave it lie wherever it lands, then continue on her streaking trend. This usually results in other forms of streaking, such as the streak still on her bum, or if we’re not careful and catch her in time, on a blanket that she might sit on following the strip down. The “streaks” are bad enough, but did you know that to a two year old a lump of poo resembles play dough?

Yeah me either, but apparently it does indeed. I must implore all parents to please educate your children about the use of poop. Chiefly: it is NOT play dough! Most kids will know this right off, but not my princess.

Last night, much to my un-pleasant surprise I got a hint of a poopy aroma in my house. At first I thought Starbucks (the cat) had done something completely indecent downstairs in his box. So I went down to inspect what horrors he might have laid. I would have gladly accepted the horrors because instead of finding anything significant in his box I found the princess standing in the back of the family room- nekkid, squishing brown goop aka poop between her fingers. Insert my gag reflex here as I realized what she was doing, and the smell assaulted my nostrils so severely that I’m pretty sure remnants of it linger even today.

I’d love to know how three of my kids were sitting just three feet away with their backs to her- watching tv, and playing video games- and did NOT notice the foulness of the air. Bleck and double bleck. Needless to say I couldn’t even brin g myself to touch her. A yelp peeled from my throat and The Man had to come down and rescue me by carrying her at arms length straight to the tub.

I honestly don’t remember so much yuckiness with any of my other 5 children. But I’m guessing maybe that’s just the Momma amnesia thing. You know the little gross things that kidlets do that we manage to block out so that we will continue to pro-create? Either way, the foul un-pleasantries have begun.

Go Team!

One of Momma's Worst Nightmares

You know those moments you have nightmares about? The event with one of your children that just the thought of brings bile jumping to your mouth and culminates with a lump the size of Texas lodging in your throat?

Well we had one of those moments Friday, much to my horror.

I hesitated to post this initially for fear of being thought of as "that mom", or fear someone would think I was just awful, but this is a blog, about moms, women raising children, the good stuff and the scary stuff. And maybe just maybe it will let some other mom know that we aren't perfect.

The day started out like any other day. Sunshine, playing, being silly etc. Then we headed off to The Man’s softball game at the park. My children quickly found 4 or 5 other children to befriend and they all started playing in the dust/ sand that accumulates in front of the bleachers. I’m not really sure what they were doing exactly, some sort of contest to see which “team” could get the most sand piled up. They were filling water bottles, bags and empty popcorn boxes with the sand.

My 2 yr old aka the gremlin and now possibly lightning rod - found another little toddler and they were sitting just to the right of where I was sitting on the bleachers. They had their own little pile going and were happily sifting the sand through their hands and letting it fall onto their legs etc. All was well, except the fact that I knew by the time it was time to go they would all have to brushed off and then take major baths at home.

I watched the game and the kids pretty much simultaneously as most moms’ do. Then The Man came off the field for a minute to run to the brightly painted port o pot. My two year old waved at him with a fist full of sand as he walked past. And I watched her build a castle of some sort with her new friend. When he came out he came over to me, told me he was getting a blister on his ankle, and gave me a peck on the cheek. I turned to look at the group of kids gathered in the dirt and couldn’t see my baby girl. I asked both her sisters and brother where she was. They look confused and assured me she had just been there. This I knew, as I had just been watching her as well.

A quick once over of the group of kids and I realized she was not in the group anywhere. The Man and I stood up and started looking around the bleachers, behind the bleachers, over to the other teams bleachers. Nothing. I grabbed all the kids and told them to start looking.

There we are two adults and a group of 7 kids calling her name. I was becoming panicked as I couldn’t see any sign of her. There was no response to each time we called her name. My heart thwacked so hard against my chest I thought it might just rip out of the skin and thump to the ground.

Had someone grabbed my child? She doesn’t know the meaning of a stranger. Someone would just have to offer to take her swinging at the park or give her some chocolate and she would happily go with even the gnarliest looking person.

We got further away from the field toward the road and as I looked across my heart just completely stopped. Directly across the road was a pond. A POND! I scanned the walkway around it and still saw nothing.

The Man must have had the same thoughts because he started running. A woman fishing at the end closest to us, stopped him and I couldn’t hear all she said but I heard “Looking for a baby?” and “Just fell in.”

What?! Oh God please let her be safe!

The Man took off sprinting to the other end of the pond and I could see a woman standing next to myy baby girl. She was covered in water and pond scum and looked like she was trying to fig out what had just happened.

I made it to where they were standing and the woman just smiled at me and told me she was ok.
“I saw her cross over the road so I followed her. She looked like she was headed to the park but then went toward the edge of the pond. I got to her just as she dove in. When I pulled her out I thought she would be crying but she just looked at me and said she wanted to slide.”

I really felt like I was in a tunnel of some sort. The Man was holding her, and checking her over. Everything sounded distant to me, and really far away. It was one of the oddest feelings I’ve experienced. Fear and horror washed away by finding her safe, but even more horror at what might have happened.

How she managed to get from the diamond to the walkway, let alone the pond in what was literally less than two minutes still confounds me. I’ve thought over and over of what could have happened, an believe me I have beat myself up one side and down the other. In the end I know it wasn’t any horrible thing I did or didn’t do. That child is smart, and curious, and FAST.
I am just so thankful that she was safe and that not only was God watching out for her, but so was this middle aged woman with her sunglasses, walking shoes, Hollister t-shirt and baseball cap. WHOM- I’m still not altogether convinced that wasn’t an angel.

My baby girl is alright. I got her out of her soaked clothes, hugged her, kissed her, checked her over, SEVERAL times. She definitely had no idea of the possible consequences of her little adventure. She has told us and anyone else who will listen that she “fell in the water.” But that’s the extent of her descriptions.

She might not remember the day she wandered off like she had no fear in the world, but as for me, I will never forget it. You often hear parents say, “I just blinked and they were gone. Vanished. I don’t know how it happened.” I can totally relate to the confusion of how it could have happened so quickly, in the blink of an eye. Definitely not something I ever wanted to be able to relate to.

But because of it, I couldn’t be more thankful that she and all my kids are safe and secure.

Zee HoneeMoon

We’ve officially been back from our honeymoon for 4 days. I have to say as much as I missed my kidlets while I was gone, I’m glad that we took a week to spend some time alone together.

The honeymoon was a nice adventure and our first real trip together. I was a little nervous about doing a road trip with someone I’ve never been in a car with for longer than 4 hours, but it was surprisingly enjoyable. We took turns driving on the way to Gatlinburg and then again on the way to Myrtle Beach, but The Man drove the entire way back home from SC. Can’t say that I was too upset about that, given the road construction and hellacious storms we drove through.

We’d originally intended on leaving late Sunday night or early Monday to make the trip to Gatlinburg, but after a harried call from The Man’s best friend, aka Best Man that he’d missed his flight scheduled for 4am Sunday by 1 minute and 26 seconds we decided to pack up early and meet him in Indy until he could get on his guaranteed flight for Monday at 2pm. God love the airlines hey kept trying to get him on a standby but had overbooked flights. Imagine that!
So after dinner in Indy and seeing him off we headed toward TN. We’d already driven through one thunderstorm that had us pulled off on the side of the road for twenty minutes. (thank goodness for game apps on our phone that kept us occupied)

We made it to Gatlinburg by 11:30 pm only to discover that our hotel room -booked through an internet travel site- was not all that had been advertised. I tried to be a happy honeymooner and suck it up but I nearly cried. It was just gross. The bed was seriously as hard as a rock, the room smelled like animal, and there were stains on the little sofa. Ok, it’s a honeymoon, we could not have a rock hard bed! We called the travel site and they said they could get us out of the second night reservation, but we would still have to pay for first night. So we could stay and check out at 10am or leave and then have two hotels to pay for, for one night. Not what this sleepy princess bride wanted to hear.

So down we went to the front desk of the resort to tell them with sad faces that we would spend the first night here out of necessity but we were very disappointed…this was our first night of honeymoon,…I think Bobby even told the clerk that I was going to kill him. I of course had tears in my eyes and was totally down hearted. (Of course we had discussed prior that we would make it obvious that we were not happy but rather than be nasty, we would just “show” our sadness. Ha

The clerk must have felt really bad because she offered to show us another room explaining that the travel site only books the lower end rooms but advertises the positives of the entire resort. We reluctantly looked at the other room and were pleased to see a much better room. Jacuzzi tub, King bed that did NOT feel like a plank of wood was the mattress, fireplace, patio overlooking the pool etc. Then to our surprise they offered us the room that was $200 more for the same price we had paid for the first room. SCORE!

The next morning we went down to ask what the difference would be if we wanted to stay the 2nd nt. That’s when we discovered the price of the room. We decided we couldn’t afford that and we would just move on. But to our surprise the clerk offered to let us have the 2nd night at the lower price again. Hmmm what to do? We stayed.

Gatlinburg was booming, Pigeon Forge was crazy busy. But there was soo much to do. We visited the Ripley’s Believe it or Not Aquarium, strolled the grand strand in between rain storms, shopped, ate yummy food, drove the motor trail half way up the mountain. Hiked just a little and The Man even jumped across the rocks and flowing waters of the Pigeon River to get some excellent pictures.

Wednesday afternoon we headed to Myrtle Beach. Another long drive through rain and mountains, but the views were beautiful. We made it to the hotel about 9:00 pm got all checked in (with no snags this time) and got settled in the room. View of the ocean from the balcony was gorgeous. We had planned a lunch picnic on the beach but it decided to storm. Heavy winds, lightning strikes that were so perfect you could see them from the sky to the water, even electricity flickering. Despite the ruined picnic I kind of had fun setting up a picnic on the bed and watching the sky open up and cut loose across the sand and water.

Luckily it didn’t storm the entire time we were there. We were able to go shopping at Broadway at the beach (an outdoor mall and fair type area). Spend time on the beach. We made some sand art and Bobby ventured out into the waves. A jelly fish apparently decided his ankle was perfect for stinging, but NO, I didn’t pee on it!

We found a huge putt-putt place with a Peter Pan/ Lost Boys/ Capt. Hook theme and played two games. Bobby conquered me the first time but the second time I believe I beat him by 2 or 3. It was odd to go putt-putt without the kids, but also kind of nice. No balls flying off into a creek, kids squabbling over whose turn it is, or trying to figure out where one of them had run off to only to discover they are standing smack dab in the middle of a green that someone else is trying to play on. Heh.

We did a little shopping and found a seafood place that offered a pound and a half of crab legs for $5.99. I have to say that they were THE most delicious crab legs I’ve ever tasted. Maybe they really were that good, or maybe it was just that they were so affordable, either way….YUMMY!
The evenings with the salty breeze and cooler weather were my favorites. It was just peaceful and inviting. And of course being able to lie down at any time of the day and take a nap or just snuggle watching tv wasn’t so bad either!

Heading back, we drove half way home then stopped to sleep because the construction and storms added so much more travel time. Some of the steep grades and mountains combined with rain covered windshields were a bit terrifying at times, but we made it safe and ound and with no vomit or pee stains to clean out of the car! On the last day we stopped at the Horseshoe Casino in Elizabeth, IN so that The Man could try his luck at a poker table. I played around at the slots with $15.00. Drug it out for about two hours while he played poker, but in the end didn’t win much. He didn’t win at poker, but gained experience and we had fun.

By the time we left there I was so ready to get home and see the baby and the other kidlets that I was getting antsy. We finally made it home close to midnight, and of course I had to go pick up our little gremlin right away. Luckily Rachael stayed up and waited for us. Bean squealed when she saw us and was going back and forth between us, hugging and squeezing. Even four days later one of us pretty much has to stay with her. I think she’s afraid we might disappear again for another week.

It was fun to spend some time alone and the intimacy of no kids to worry about for just a bit was much needed. It’s weird how when you are away from your kids you see everything that they would enjoy or like doing. “Oh the kids would love that!” “Look at that! We should do that with the kids.” The Man and I must’ve said that or something similar two dozen times. Maybe we’re the only weirdos who do that, but I kinda doubt it.

So now I know we can survive a road trip together, and have fun while doing it hehe. I guess the next test will be if ALL 7 of us can survive one together =) Bring it on!! And soon,…

Wife? Yep That's me!

Ok, so this blog post might end up a little sappy, but I happen to be feeling a little sappy, so deal with it!

There are moments in life that are a bit surreal. Let’s face it, there can be “bad” surreal or “good” surreal. You know it’s true. I’ve spent the last few months knee deep in planning a wedding -MY wedding to be precise. The days and weeks flew by, and as the big day grew closer I found myself getting a little nervous.

What thirty *cough* something woman who’s been married before wouldn’t, right?

Luckily, I had some pretty awesome friends, and a very understanding groom-to-be. They listened, offered advice and helped to convince me that I was normal as stripes on a zebra.

Today I blog as a wife. I never would have imagined after years of being a divorced mom of 6 that I would find someone who would make me feel comfortable ,once again, taking the risk of loving so completely that I would vow to spend my life with him.

Surreal.

The word doesn’t seem even close to sufficient, but it’s the only way I know how to describe it.

I am so amazingly blessed to have blindly stumbled upon love again. To have been given a second chance to get it “right”. And to have a man in my life who not only does his best to understand me, but who accepts all that I have to give, and wants to give as well. My kids are equally blessed to have him in their lives as well. Someone who will help to shape their lives, help me to grow them into adulthood, and to mentor and be a positive influence.

Committing to a life with someone after having done it before and failed can be a frightening proposal. Sort of in comparison to someone saying, “Hey! Look! It’s a huge mountain. Why don’t you jump off and see what happens? Wha? You did that before and spent two years in a body cast? Awww, no biggie! Let’s do it again!”
Uh yeah. Who in their right mind would say yes to that? But love does funny things to a person.

Thing is, I got married very young the first time. VERY young. We’re talking a month before I even turned 18. I was on top of the world though. Living in a la-la land that can’t even be described with correct grammatical accuracy. However, the rug was pulled out from under me with such fluid accuracy that it took me a bit to even realize it was gone. Then of course there was denial, and that innocent naiveté that made me believe that love could conquer all. What I wasn’t factoring in was that it would take more than one person loving and trying. More than one person respecting, and considering the other person.

Despite some very disturbing events I tried with all that was in me to make my marriage work. For almost 14 years I ignored, forgave, overlooked, started over (again and again) and believed that one day it would all magically right itself. It didn’t. Of course. And the loss was so real and so great that I thought I might die. I mean for real. All my dreams and hopes were shattered along with my heart. I remember telling my sister, Rachael that I didn’t think I could make it. Didn’t know if I could be a single Mom/ Divorcee. She of course assured me I could and would.

I had my moments of insanity. Went a little wild for a bit. Made some poor choices. Of course I had lost all that my life had been built on since my teens. I was wandering through a wilderness of unknowns confident that even with my greatest successes I would be fulfilling the rest of my life and raising my children alone.

Eventually I pulled it together. Trudged my way through the sludge. Began to get over losing friends, family, my church life and ministry that had been built as a couple. I focused on the future of myself and my kids and I began planning a new life. A new world. A better existence.

Nowhere in those plans did I picture myself meeting a man who would understand me, accept my jaded views, or be patient enough to deal with them, and the life of a mother that I had. However, God had other plans. =)

Sure we had bumps in the road. What single man with no kids wouldn’t question if he really could be all that we needed him to be? If he hadn’t I think I might’ve questioned his certainty. But we overcame the bumps, grew together in our relationship and realized “Hey, life just wouldn’t be all that it can be if we weren’t together. I kind of sort of love you a little- LOT”

I can honestly say that I feel pretty on track these days. I’m excited for the future- our future together as husband and wife, and as a family. My fears of repeating history are no longer an issue. My choices have been made with an adult perspective and come from understanding and knowledge that comes through experience, acceptance, and hope.

Thankfully my husband was amazing enough to be patient with me and give me time to wrap my mind around the reality that all men are NOT the same. That one man should not be held accountable for another’s deficiencies. And then to prove to me that I could trust his words through his actions. And of course (not to toot my own horn- ok maybe a little-) I think I eased some of his fears about women, love and commitment as well.

I’m totally looking forward to continuing the journey of life with him by my side. I’m ready now, to face love, life and all the challenges head on with the combined perspectives that we have accrued in our lives. I’m so thankful that we will both have the others point of view to glean from.

Loving someone deeply doesn't take away the trials, or make you not get annoyed with them. Love in and of itself isn't enough to make something last or even grow. Commitment to that person you love is a choice. Not one day, but everyday for the rest of your lives. And recognizing that, we're both ready for everyday, every sunset, sunrise, and even the storms.

Imperfections, challenges, differences, those WILL all come. But we’ve chosen to face them all together. No longer holding fairy tale expectations, and having lived through our own personal disappointments we are more prepared to support, comfort, and cherish each other, even when times are tough. And well of course we are looking forward to the “good” stuff even more so.

It feels amazing to let go and love completely again. And yeah, I’m kind of digging the married last name and being called wife. =D Heck I’m not even going to complain about the toilet seat being left up, the dirty socks scattered on the bedroom floor, or the random belch’s- farts- and hacking of loogies. Well not yet. Ha After all, one of the perks of being a wife is uttering "Eww," and "Gross," and "Really?" every now and then, right? (probably already sis that a lot anyway- hehe)

His Laughter stole my breath

Sometimes laughter is like medicine for the heart. So how does it feel to never truly laugh?

For most parents hearing their child laugh brings smile or even induces their own laughter. As a Mom I love hearing my kids laugh, especially if it's not because they're being mean or laughing at each other, which does happen.

I love the belly laughs the most. When the baby just laughs and laughs, it tickles me. When my 10 year old daughter laughs until she's crying I nealry cry with her.

When my 18 year old and I start laughing we have a similar cackle laugh that replaces the ussual belly laugh. The cackle turns into a snort, and then we've ussually lost it for at least five minutes.

That said, one of my children has had a lot going on in his life. Before his adoption he had a rough life, and as a result he truly struggles with some of the day to day things. As a result he's been gone from home for a few months trying to work on how to be better able to handle the social side of life and family.

Recently he came home for a visit. I was apprehensive at first but he did amazing! That was such a pleasant suprise, but there was something even better.

He laughed. Not a small laugh, or a chortle. He wasn't laughing at the cost of someone else. he wasn't taking pleasure in someone else's misery. He wasn't laughing because he had managed to hurt someone, or get away with something devious.

He was laughing because he was playing and enjoying himself. I was upstairs as he was playing with his siblings and when I heard it I immediately stopped what I was doing and listened for it again.

And there it was! My breath caught in my throat and I'm pretty sure I almost cried.

If you've never had a child who struggles socially, and who has some pretty major behavioral disorders it might be hard to understand the hugeness of this.

But after struggling for a couple years to manage his behaviors and then finally deciding he needed more professional help than I could offer I was forced to come to many realizations.

One of the biggest ones was that he never seemed happy. Rarely smiled, and when he did it was because someone was hurt or in trouble. And I often asked myself what he must feel like inside to never laugh or feel a reason to laugh. But during his visit,.....he truly truly laughed. Filled the room with his beautiful laugh that I hadn't heard for a couple years.

And in that moment, I felt my heart grow so incredibly warm. An acceptance washed over me that perhaps, just perhaps I DID do the right thing by getting him help. That maybe, just maybe my guilt over not being able to have him home right now was more than it should be,...because he is getting the help he needs. My proof?? My assurance??

He laughed. He really, truly, laughed.

Get REAL

They lie!! Yep they do! Sorry if that's an unwanted revelation, but it has to be said! Those women who are mothers and act like they have it all together? Total Lies! I do not care who they are or how they "appear" it's all a facade. Each of us is just in front of the verge of insanity! It's true. I'm proof positive!

That's not a simple thing to admit and yet it feels sooooo good to say.

We are mothers, lovers, doctors, nurses, chefs, students, teachers, friends, psychologists, maids, etc and we do it all with an air of 'ease'. Wanna know a secret though? It's a facade. We are great at those,... 'pretending' to be awesome, when in reality we are questioning ourselves the entire way.

Under control? Not even close! We are hanging by a thread- learning as we go- making mistakes and trying to learn from them. Seriously.

It's more difficult to act like we have it all together. But if we don't then what will people say?

Guess what! Who freakin' cares!?

Perfection is a mirage. Mistakes are not only inevitable, but mandatory!!

How else would we learn, grow, "BECOME".

Sometimes I forget to make my kids bathe. Sometimes our dinners aren't gourmet. Heck we eat out at LEAST once a week. Sometimes I forget to shower myself!! I misplace letters from school. I don't always clean a sippy cup perfectly (which btw is disgusting).I don't always have a spotless house. Sometimes I wear the same pair of jeans 2 or 3 times before I wash them just to avoid adding to the laundry pile. (well that and they feel better after being worn a couple times- whatever, you do it too!). Heck! Sometimes I have the kids wear the same pair of jeans more than once!!! I don't always hear what my kids say to me, even though I am nodding and smiling. My homework isn't always turned in on time. I misspell words and sometimes when I'm online aka facebook I hit the wrong comment button and comment on a totally unrelated post. My maekup isn't always even. My outfits definately don't look like they belong on the runway. Puhlease! in fact I love my sweats and t-shirts from 3 years ago. My kids hair isn't always perfect. The beds in the house aren't always made. Sometimes if you look at my living room carpet you might even see popcorn kernels from family movie night! I go into a room and forget what I was going there for. I laugh, then cry within minutes, then laugh again.

Yep! That's right,....it's a little bit of chaos almost everyday! And? What? You don't have imperfections?

Guess what people?! We all do.

So today- heck maybe for the rest of the week- stop being so hard on yourself. Give yourself a break. Remind yourself that the hot chick with the two gorgeous kids in the grocery store, you know the one- she looks perfect and her kids are listening and they are dressed perfectly with evey hair in place- yeah that one, remind yourself that even she has something imperfect. That she is just really good at 'looking' like she has it all together.

Be good to yourself. Love yourself. Enjoy your life, and your kids, and your home, and your friends. Because NOTHING is perfect. No one is without issues or possible insanities!!

I know I will. Even though it took being knocked down, dragged around, scratched, and bruised by life and my own expectations for myself,....even though I had to look in a mirror and say "Guess what woman,...sometimes you suck. Sometimes you do not have it all together." Even though I had to have friends 'rescue' me from myself. Even though I have to be real and honest with myself,...or maybe because I am,...well I'm going to give myself a break today and for the rest of the week.

I'll try to remember to let you know how that goes .

;)

Up, Down, Left, Right.

Love spending time with the kids on the weekends and having the day to not worry about getting them to school and waiting for them to get home only to rush through homework and dinner! Really I do!! Really I do, stop rolling your eyes at me LOL I only wish Baby had a wee less energy, the kids appreciated the gift of sleeping in, a shower wasn’t a sneak attack process, they could occasionally act like they like each other, and I didn’t always open my big fat mouth at the wrong time.

“Mommy can I get up and watch tv?” Daughter one. I look at the clock and it is 6:30am. I’ve been in bed since 2am because I got lost in a book. “Uh no. Go back to sleep.” Roll over, and try to reconnect with the dream I was having…something about the sound of the ocean, the sunrise, and peace.

“Mommy can I get up and play the game cube?” Oldest son. I look at the clock and it is 7:08am. SIGH. “No. Just because the sun is up does not mean you need to be.”

Now where is that ocean roar?

“I see you! I get you! I play! I play! Peek-a-boo! “Then incoherent babbling. Look up to see the red lines on the baby monitor moving back and forth from low to high. Roll over look at the window, see the sun peeking through the curtains.

“Mom, can I please play video games now?” Oldest son, again. Look at the clock and it’s 8:55am. Time to get up I suppose. Get up go to the kitchen realize I let the last pot of coffee sit too long and now I need to clean the mold remnants out if I want a cup. Boo. Try to work through the fog in my brain. Sooo not happening.

Decide on waffles, eggs and bacon for breakfast. But first I MUST have caffeine. Run to Starbucks, STILL in my pajamas. Make a mental note that the cat must have been locked in the garage all night- trash is torn into and there is a pile of cat puke on the floor. Gag. Starbucks drive thru is BUSY. Get a text that the waffles are ready- thanks to the man, but there isn’t enough peanut butter. Leave Starbucks. Stop at the gas station by my house, they don’t carry it. Go into Marsh STILL in my PJ’s, the mother’s selling Girl Scout cookies look at me like I’m crazy. Reach up to see if I brushed my hair. Must have pulled it into a ponytail- I don’t remember. Grab the peanut butter, crunchy and creamy then go home.

Make the eggs. Baby keeps opening the refrigerator, sitting on the shelf telling me “I go bye bye.” Redirect her, three times. Help the man serve the kids. Eat waaay too much food. Tummy hurts. Clean up the kitchen. Make the girls take a shower. Go to find something in son’s closet to discover he has hidden all the clothes he doesn’t like in a basket in the back of the closet.
Make him put them away. Take the basket.

Kids go down to family room to play and happily take baby with them. Arguing. “Stop that.” Peruse a wedding magazine and realize this stuff is crazy expensive.

Go to bathroom and eye my bed on the way. Go back to the bed Just to 'sit' and collapse. Where is that ocean roar?

Fall asleep. Phone wakes me. Get up grab clothes. Maybe I can get in a shower while the kids are distracted by Mario kart. Baby wants to escape big sister. Tell big sister to leave her alone and let her play what she wants. Jump in shower and wash as quickly as I can to the music of the baby at the door crying because I actually want to have clean hair today.

Get out and slather on lotion because I have the world’s driest skin. Baby insists she must have some. Give it to her or endure her newfound two year old fits? I give her lotion. She mimics me rubbing it on my arms. That makes me smile.

Getting dressed baby points up and says “Boobies.” SIGH fabulous. Then she discovers my belly fat and decides it is fun to jiggle. Yep thanks! She wants to get dressed too and is very adamnant about it. Get her clothes, dress her. Let her put on more lotion. Play blow fish face with her. Which momentarily entertains her, until she notices my belly fat again. Blah!

Go into bathroom while she is distracted. Blow dry hair only to look in mirror and discover it is a parched, poofy mess. Ah crap! Is that a pimple? Here a noise coming from other bathroom. Go to check. Baby is sitting inside the tub, still wet from my shower- emptying the contents of a $6.00 bottle of shampoo into the drain. She sees me. “I get out?” Uh yeah. Get her out, put her in time out. Bac into bathroom to try to fix the mess I call hair. Listen to her wail.

Let her get up. She decides to ‘help’ me in the bathroom- which means get into everything that can open. Get blush on one cheek, take something from her. Blush on other cheek, take something from her. Mascara on upper eyelashes, take something from her. Lower, take something from her. Brush my teeth, she wants to brush hers. Maybe it will occupy her. She copies me again, it makes me smile.

Finally done. Double check when movie starts. Tell kids to clean up and get ready to go. Manage to start the wrong conversation at the wrong time with the man and wish for a rewind button.

“Go bye- bye?” Baby. “Yes, but we need shoes and socks for you.” She runs off. “I get it! I get it!” Stand in the hall and call to her that I have some. She cries down the hall until she realizes I have socks. Get them on her.

Talk to the man who is definitely not happy about the random thought that I blurted out without filtering.

Send kids to get in the car.

Apologize for being an idiot.

Go to garage to discover kids chasing each other around the car in the garage. Once- twice- three times almost stepping in the cat vomit. Gross. Tell them they are ridiculous and to get in the car. Get in the car. “There’s not enough room.” “He’s touching me.” “I can’t fit.”

Exhausted already. “So, ok we don’t have to go.” “No, we wanna go!” …”Then no more bickering, or my head is going to explode.”

Get to the movies. They are excited and well behaved. Thank God for blessings! Movi e is decent. They like it. Even baby sits happily and watches it. Of course the huge bucket of snacks in her lap probably helped. Leave the theater. No one can decide what to eat or agree on anything. Finally order, head home. Baby cries because she isn’t put into her high chair fast enough- then isn’t given food fast enough.

Kids eat. I throw a load of laundry in. Finally go to the bathroom- I’ve been holding it since the movie let out. Flip through a magazine. Kids go to family room to play. Clean up the kitchen. Sit down. Start writing this blog. Baby comes in half way through writing this, upset about something. Jabbers something I can’t understand. Gets distracted by the cat who she proceeds to wrestle.

It’s 7:46 pm. Why am I so tired?

BoUt tO giT BiZee uP n HEeeeRe

Smack me upside the head with an iron skillet and wake me when winter's over! This winter has dragged on and on. In reality it isn't any worse than the Indiana winters I remember as a kid, but we've had so many mild winters over the past few years it just seems REAALLY long.

As a result I feel like I've grown lazy and too well accustomed to just sitting around the house in my jammies and not going out unless absolutely necessary. Obviously my children aren't hugely appreciative, and my friends have begun to wonder if I have escaped into the vast darkness of my mind. For a minute facebook posts and blogs were the few signs I was alive, then I think people began to wonder if that was in fact me, or an actor hired to play me in the not so popular b-movie version of my life.

Hmm, wonder if you can really hire someone to play you while you go off and get some stuff done....ha nevermind, I digress.

Anyway, I've become a bit lazy, but that's all about to end.

I've already started running around a bit here and there, getting some things in order, and ofcourse there are ALWAYS "Motherly Duties" around the house that keep me moving. However kids sports are about to start, I'm feeling the urge to start working out again, and midterms will be very soon. Gabi started practice for the basketball team. Kirstan is practicing for softball. Jeremy and Jalynn are wanting to join karate at the Wellness Center - not to mention there softball season will start soon. Plus as soon as the sun grace's us on a more permanent basis and adds warmth I am going to want to spend a whole lot more time just sitting outside, basking in the sun on my face, and reading a good book!

I can already feel the proverbial soccer mom wheels turning. I'm looking forward to it and apprehensive all at the same time. I get exhausted, and healthy family dinners are more difficult to get in when we're running all the time.

Hopefully, it will get easier over time,,,,cause right now I get worn out just from the normal everyday tasks!! I know how I keep moving and keep going when it seems like I should crash. But I'm curious how do other women do it? Those with kids,...those without....go ahead leave a comment and answer,...I dare you.

DONT'S for Kids: A Mom's Guide To Keeping You Out Of Trouble

DONT'S for Kids: A Mom's Guide To Keeping You Out Of Trouble

These are not all my own but I saw them on another blog and had to add some and post,....too funny!!!

1. DON’T wake your mom up by tapping on her head and saying any of the following: I puked on your floor, I peed in my bed, I found a snake, or I think the car is gone.

2. DON’T decide to “help out” by mopping the floor, bathing the baby or running the dishwasher. Water is fun for you but Mommy pretty much hates it.

3. DON’T attempt to use any of the following household appliances: the phone (even if it is to call the police on your brother), the microwave (I know it’s “easy” because you only have to press one button, but since you can’t read pressing p-o-t-a-t-o instead of p-o-p-c-o-r-n can lead to catastrophic results), the garage door opener (just because you have no business even being in the garage), the washing machine (see above tip regarding water usage), the dryer (because the heat settings DO make a difference), and the iron (don’t worry, you’ll never see this one laying around our house anyway).

4. DON’T use any of the words your mommy uses while she’s driving. That means idiot, jerk face, and stupid are all off limits.

5. DON’T heckle other drivers. Mommy’s got that covered.

6. DON’T store things in the toilet. Your effort to put things away is greatly appreciated, but please refer again to #2 above to fully understand our stance on water based activities.

7. DON’T throw food while at the table. This is particularly important if that table is located in the middle of a restaurant (which is unlikely because no one ever wants to take you anywhere ever, but still).

8. DON’T disrobe without receiving permission in advance (and “in advance” does NOT mean while Mommy is distracted with talking to your teacher at the supermarket).

9. DON’T disrobe in public regardless of advanced permissions you may or may not have received.

10. DON’T ask to accompany Mommy to Starbucks (because that’s her leisure time), the bathroom (because that’s private), or Wal-Mart (because that’s just crazy).

11. DON’T put your shoes on the counter (even if they’re “clean”).

12. DON’T fight dirty with your brothers. Fighting dirty would include any of the following maneuvers: eye gauges, nostril pulling, butt hole assaults, attempted ear drum rupturing, and hitting in the “nuts”.

13. DON’T use the word nuts.

14. DON’T poop your pants at school and then lie when asked about it. Seriously, Dude, people could smell it out in the hallway, it’s time to fess up.

15. DON’T scream for Mommy when she gets ready to go out for her one girl’s night of the quarter. When she’s home you don’t want her so give it a rest. Besides, you should know that once you can rely on your own feet for transportation the affect of your tears has pretty much worn off entirely.

16. DON’T get up before (Mommy has her coffee) the sun.

17. DON'T bring things from outside- indoors. This includes bugs (they belong outside and trust me are much happier out there than under my shoe), Mud pies (I let you make them but won't be eating them), and dandelions (these are not flowers they are weeds, they stink and they have bugs)

18. DON’T grow up. Based on (your father) other men, growing up is a losing situation for Mommy. Gone will be all of your sweet innocence, your pudgy cheeks, and your unconditional love, but you keep all of the pickiness, the stubbornness, and the inflexibility; traits that move from being tolerable to downright annoying.

Wandering Wonders

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted a blog. Not that I haven’t written anything,…just haven’t had anything worth posting, or that I felt comfortable posting. The month of January was a month full of birthdays. Starting with Dec 27th (yeah yeah I know that’s not January- Kindergarten 101- but that’s where it started). My baby girl turned 2 years old. Of course I went through the whole memory lane thing thinking about how it seemed like just yesterday I was discovering I was pregnant and trying to make a plan as to how I was going to add an unexpected baby into the family.

Then #2 Daughter turned 10. TEN! Double digits. That just scared the crap out of me.

Then came my own birthday turning the whopping *cough* 30 SOMETHING *cough*. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated but then I had other things distracting me from thinking about how OLD I am.

The very next day #2 Son turned 11. This was difficult for me because he isn’t able to be home right now. I found myself very sad that day, wishing he could be with us to celebrate the blessing God gave the world when he was born.

Then just 4 days later my oldest, #1 daughter turned 18. THIS is the birthday that hit me the hardest. My first born was suddenly no longer a child. Sure, she still has child like aspects in her life- still needs to graduate high school, get a job, etc- but she is legally an adult. Her birthday is actually when my new age actually hit me a little harder. True,…I’m not THAT old, but I found myself FEELING old. Facing the idea of one of my babies being all grown up was quite daunting. Especially when she was suddenly coming at me with several very adult wants.

Wow. I think I am still sitting back absorbing all of it. Thus the blog silence. I’ve been having very deep thoughts and ideas ransacking through this pretty little head of mine. Waaay too deep for a wintery weather blog.

Oh, lest I forget, speaking of ransacking through my head… I was watching the Super Bowl with The Man and The Who was playing the half time show. There I was minding my own business and the business of a few football players- who by the way LOST the game- when he says, “That song reminds me of you.” “Why?” I ask, after listening to it a bit. “Because when I hear it, especially the first minute or so of the music it’s what I think it’s like inside your head on any given day.” After paying closer attention I found myself posing the thought to myself, “Compliment? Or is he just saying I’m weird.”

Oh, what song, you ask? Teenage Wasteland. For your listening pleasure I’ve attached the song.
So what do you think? Should I be flattered?

It's my Birthday- I'll cry if I want to

I had every intention of writing some fabulous wit filled blog commemorating the many years I’ve been blessed with on this earth but that will have to wait for another day. My heart is a little heavy this morning with new information regarding my youngest son.
After years of not understanding his behaviors and having no idea what could be causing his many difficulties I finally have answers. For that I am grateful. I thought I had prepared myself for any diagnosis and prognosis I might get. After all, knowing would be better than fumbling around in the dark trying to deal with an invisible monster, right? So why do I feel so heart sick?
Organic encephalopathy. Fetal Alcohol syndrome. Irreparable brain damage. These are the names of the monster that are wreaking havoc on his life, on all our lives. There are no fixes, no cures, no magic medicines or answers for this.

I’ve been struggling to remain positive. Look on the Brightside of things. Accept and create a plan of action. But my positivity is more words than feelings today.

I turned 36 today and I find myself hoping and praying that when he reaches this birthday he will be able to look back and see a life of adventures, milestones, and amazing moments. I hope his will be a story of perseverance and overcoming obstacles, and that he will see all the people who love him so very much and are there for him no matter what.

God STILL has a plan for him regardless of any diagnosis! He was placed in my life, meant to be with me, and I am providing him the love, care, and medical attention he might not have gotten otherwise! Something amazing and far beyond my understanding CAN come of this! I do believe those things, and maybe if I repeat them enough I won’t feel quite so sad.

Daily Hustle

This morning wasn’t much different as far as mornings go. Insignificant, but busy would sum it up perfectly. After hitting my snooze button three times I dragged my body out of bed woke up Jeremy, Jalynn and Gabi and urged them to get their bottoms in gear so they wouldn’t miss the bus.

I literally felt like I was wading through a fog just to make it from bedroom to bedroom and then to the kitchen to grab a cold glass of water. The girl’s bus always comes about 12 minutes before Jeremy’s so they have to be ready sooner. Jeremy of course knows this but insists on trying to brush his teeth first, use the bathroom first, and basically do anything that will put him in their way. I think it may just be a pre-requisite for being the ‘big brother’.

I’m used to this morning routine. Brother antagonizes sister, sister screams for Mom, Mom has to remind brother again to worry about him and leave sister alone. Brother goes to living room to get shoes and socks on, sister goes to living room and sits on the sofa cushion next to him but before her bottom can land brother scoots to the middle declaring “There is no room,” then tattles when the smooth move causes sister to sit on him.

Oy vey! Coffee. Lots of it!

This specific morning I will admit I was glad when the last kidlet closed the front door and headed down the drive to wait for the bus. Maybe that’s awful, but not being a morning person there are just some mornings that all that picking, bickering and complaining overstimulates my foggy existence.

After the door shut I threw on pants and a hoodie, woke up the baby, who was smiling as usual, dressed her, fed her and got her packed into the car for daycare. The roads weren’t awful this morning but thanks to my AMAZING car with some mysterious alignment issue I was slipping all over the roads. My grip on the steering wheel was so tight that my knuckles were completely white. I don’t think I have ever been so glad to make the 15 minute drive from daycare and pull into my garage.

When I walked in the house I realized that today was trash day and I had forgotten to have the kids take the trash out the night before. Yay. So I loaded up the can with the trash bags, and pulled them down the drive. When I got back in the house I glanced at the sink full of dishes and the laundry room door that I had closed so I wouldn’t see the mound of dirty clothes. Whatever. I poured some more coffee sat down and forced myself to find the humor in the kidlets morning grumbly routine, the slippery drive and the coffee that I was now sipping from one of the kids plastic Disney character cups because I had been too lazy to grab a coffee cup. It worked. My mood turned from over stimulated to goofy which was just what I needed to motivate me to shower, clean the kitchen, unload and load the washing machine and dryer 4 times, straightened the house and do a little homework from one of my Sociology classes.

Then the phone rang and it was my youngest little man calling. That conversation was a little disheartening because he isn’t doing as well as I had hoped he would by now. (but that’s a subject for a different blog) Before I realized it, the clock said noon. I was hungry. So I whipped up a yummy breakfast burrito turned the TV on and indulged in a FULL episode of Law and Order SVU. This does not usually happen during the day. I’m not sure whether it’s lack of attention or the fact that I can always think of something that needs to be done but the television doesn’t usually come on during the day if there aren’t children at home. But today I think my brain needed some time to just do nothing and escape into the world of others where crimes were being solved.

After finishing another load of laundry I decided to take a short nap. I figured it would help me be better prepared for the kidlets coming home and any possibly continuation of the antagonizing and bickering. Naps are generally a bad idea. Some people can take on and feel invigorated. I seem to take them and wake up a little grumpy. Luckily grumpy April only stuck around for the length of time it took me to get half way to the daycare to pick up the baby. I arrived home with the baby about five minutes before the kids got home on the bus, threw some chicken in the microwave to thaw, gave her a quick snack and sippy cup then started trying to help them with their homework.

Then it was time to start dinner. Lemon Pepper chicken, baked potatoes and corn. And I must say it turned out yummy. The Man even commented that he thought it might be the best homemade chicken he had ever had. WIN! That made my evening. Why? I have no idea, but it was nice to feel like the dinner was appreciated. After dinner was clean-up time and get kids into pj’s etc.

I think we all finally settled into the living room around 7:40pm. The kids grabbed their handheld game systems and found a spot to get comfy, and I curled up next to The Man on the couch and we watched the previous night’s episode of Heroes. I don’t know what it is about just lying there against his shoulder and feeling his fingers occasionally brush through my hair while we enjoy a show together, but I love it. Afterwards, I put the kids to bed and The Man and I watched Castle. Then I got online to poke around facebook for a bit while he started playing his favorite computer game. All was quiet for about an hour and then I heard a child calling. Upon answering the call I discovered an aromatic surprise-vomit all over the floor. Gabi had thrown up BEFORE she’d made it out of the bed. I do NOT handle vomit well. The clean-up nearly made me sick myself, and I kept repeating ‘it’s just food’-‘it’s just food’.

An hour and a half, and two more vomiting episodes later and here I sit unwilling to go to bed for fear she will be sick again and I will be passed out. I actually found myself thinking “Man, I didn’t do ANYTHING today.” Then of course the other voice in my head is like “what? Shut-up.”

Ha. It’s odd to me that my day can be so full of things and I can still feel like I’ve done nothing. I think though that it’s more of an issue of feeling like most of what I did was responsibility based, and didn’t have much to do with doing something for me, for enjoyment. So,…. I’m hoping to make some time for myself in the near future. It might be difficult for me to stop my compulsion to clean, or DO something that I think NEEDS to be done as far as my motherly duties, but I think today was a neon sign telling me to make some ME time.

And my final thought for the night before I finish this blog? What was I thinking when I said just the other day that it might be fun to get a puppy? Seriously. *shaking head*

Really? So more carbs?

I decided to weigh myself today. It's been a minute and I was curious what the scales would tell me. I've been feeling a little bony lately and noticed in the mirror the other day that my face looked a little gaunt. HA! Who knew that I would have to worry about LOSING too much weight?

So anyway, I weighed myself and was suprised to read 114 pounds. Holy wowness! How does that happen? I probably sound weird to some for having thoughts either way about this weight, but for me it is possibly too thin.

Before I lost all my weight I would NEVER have imagined being this weight. Heck my goal was 140 pounds. But I passed that a long time ago.

Now I find myself trying to figure out what I can eat/ do to put on a few pounds. Not that 114 is bad per say, but it is lower than I expected. And I think fo rme, I look a little better with a few extra pounds on me.

Ofcourse my mind is telling me NO WAY! But the rest of me is clamoring to eat more. And so I will.

Watch out kitchen,...because here I come!! hehe

Shrimp/ Crab Fondue. Wowza!!

The Creamy flavors of cheese fondue infused with seafood? There aren't words. Well there might be but my brain is currently on overload from stuffing myself.

Lobster Fondue is one of my favorite things to order at Red Lobster. It's just too much yummy goodness to put into words, and since one of my 2010 goals was to be more adventurous in the kitchen, I decided to take a stab at making the molten heaven myself.

I didn't use Lobster meat as I found shrimp and crab on sale, but it was still worth the effort. I have to admit that it was a little more "Velveeta" tasting than I would have preferred (have to work on finding something else to add quantity and thickness so I don't need as much) and I am NOT a huge velveeta fan,...but it was GOOD. So good in fact that two of us went through an entire loaf of French Bread with it. Yes, we ended up stuffed and barely able to move from the make-shift picnic on the living room floor, but it was well worth it!

So, I decided to share the recipe and photos. If you make it let me know what you think. And of course if you come up with another cheese to aid in the delicious-ness let me know. (I'm thinking swiss cheese finely grated would add a nice flavor- or a small amount of cream cheese, or even some cream of shrimp soup as well. Hmm have to try those next time)

Ingredients-

16 oz Velveeta cheese

3/4 C Milk

1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper

1/2 tsp Paprika

1/2 to 3/4 C finely chopped sweet red pepper (bell pepper)

1 C. Shrimp chopped (or baby shrimp)

1/2 to 1 C. Crab meat chopped OR Lobster Meat

2 tbsp fresh parsley chopped

1 Small bread bowl

1 Loaf French Bread

(optional- for brushing bread) Olive oil- Garlic powder and salt

Directions-

Cube your cheese so that it's easier to melt. Chop your seafood into the size of bites you would prefer in your fondue. With the Red Pepper the smaller the dice the less likely you are to get a bite with JUST red pepper in it. Of course if that's your thing, Go for it! ;-)

Cut a center hole in the bread bowl- careful to leave enough on the bottom to hold the fondue. You can chop what you remove and use this to dip in the cheese. Slice the French Bread into bite size chunks. Place all onto a cookie sheet. Brush with a mixture of Olive oil, garlic powder and salt.

Place in oven and cook til slightly golden brown.

Combine Milk and Cheese in a saucepan and cook over medium low heat until cheese starts melting. Add Cayenne, Paprika, Shrimp, Lobster (if using it) and Red Peppers. If using Crab add later or it will break into small pieces.

Once Cheese is completely melted and creamy add Crab. Turn setting to low. You may let it meld together for five minutes or so or serve immediately.

Pour Fondue into bread bowl. Garnish with Parsley. You can put Bread bowl on a platter and surround it with the extra bread chunks. Enjoy!!